Believe in yourself
by TheCloudsOfImagination
Summary: Jayden committed suicide...how are the others going to react? Will he realize his mistakes or would it be too late? Story much better than summary...read and review...


_**So...I decided to write this story for all those who ever get suicidal thoughts or for those who doubt themselves. It should be understood that everyone is unique and that every one has qualities that are different and better than others. What is needed is the ability to realize them and cherish the good things in life.**_

 _ **Disclaimer- I don't own Power Rangers Samurai/Super Samurai. This plot though is mine.**_

* * *

 ** _BELIEVE IN YOURSELF_**

" _Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem_ "

 _ **Panorama city,The Shiba House**_

I was devastated, shattered and completely lost because I had lost faith in myself. I couldn't help but blame myself for every wrong thing that happens around me and I feel myself responsible for it. I have a huge responsibility on my shoulders and so far I don't think I am able to fulfill it. Everyone look up to me for leadership and advises but I myself don't consider that I am capable of it all. Oh God! How much I want to end this life. I know they all praise me because they think that I am the leader and I know the best for the team but the true reality is that I am good for nothing. I don't know how to have fun and I am not liked by anyone. It's better to end this pathetic life forever because they will have Lauren to take up the place of the red ranger and they will forget me soon after I am gone. She would be able to bring out the best in everyone and the world will be safe forever although I would not be there to cherish the victory but it would not make a difference ,at least others would be happy and that's all I want.(sighs)

I walked to my desk and and started writing what would be my suicidal note so that they don't blame it on anyone afterwards.(sobs)

"What are you doing Jayden?" I heard a voice.

I turned back to see Leo, my folding zord speaking to me.

"Oh! nothing Leo...just thinking of ending it all. I mean you would now be with Lauren coz I won't be there anymore..."

"Please don't go Jayden. No matter who the head of the Shiba Clan is...for me you are my master and I could not love anyone more than you..."

"Oh Leo...hope everyone would have felt the same" I cupped Leo in my hands and hugged it for the final time.

I then put the note on my bed and Leo over it and went in the bathroom.

I found a blade there and took a deep breath. I am sorry Antonio, Kev, Mike , Mia and Emily...I am sorry Ji , I let this continue for so long and I am sorry dad I couldn't be what you wanted. This is the end.

With this I ran the blade across my wrist noticing the blood flowing out along with it and before blacking out I shrieked out in pain.

* * *

I saw as my body fell lifelessly on the floor. I watched in horror and then realized someone coming inside the room running at a fast pace. They might have listened to my shriek.

I saw terrified faces of Mike, Kevin ,Mia , Emily and Antonio running in my room. They felt horrified by the sight in front of them. I covered in blood due to the deep cut on my wrist. Antonio quickly rushed to my side and picked up my head while Mia tore off a piece of cloth from her scarf and covered my hand. Kevin ran out to inform Ji and Mike tried to wake me up. And Emily, well she just ran off to her room in tears and I don't know why?

Mike, though was too late for I was gone. Gone forever from their lives...

Ji soon came in and saw me. He couldn't help but gasp in shock as he checked my pulse. My lifeless hand fell from his grip as he lowered his head and moved it signalling I couldn't make it. This left Antonio's eyes growing wide and Mia shrieking in sadness to be comforted by Kevin. Mike couldn't believe his ears and started shouting, " This can't be true! He can't go...not like th-this" with this his voice cracked and he couldn't help but cry. It broke my heart to see them like this but it was for their own benefit that I left the world forever. Ji couldn't control his tears as well.

Kevin was the one to notice the paper on my bed beneath Leo. He picked it up and seeing my name on it immediately understood what it was.

"What could have happened? He never told us anything..." Mia managed to say.

"I know what happened...he left this" Kevin said showing everyone what I have left as a suicide note.

"Oh god.."

* * *

After some hours of mourning and still Emily nowhere in sight they all proceeded towards the living room after carefully placing my lifeless body on my bed to contemplate what led me to commit suicide.

Antonio took the letter and started reading for everyone as no one else had the courage to read the last few lines written by me...

He started

 _Dear Friends and Ji,_

 _If you are reading this it means I am gone...gone forever..._

 _I am sorry but I couldn't continue. It was too much for me. It was as if I was trying to be someone I could never become. I didn't know how to have fun. I didn't know how to have balance in life and most importantly I didn't know how to lead a team. Everytime any one of them gets hurt hurt I couldn't help but blame myself. I had a huge responsibility on my shoulders which I could not fulfill at least not in this life. Every battle was consuming me, clouding my mind with thoughts so threatening and terrifying that I had lost the strength to battle them anymore._

 _I know you all praised me because I was your leader. You overlooked my flaws because you thought they just happened by chance. Every time I tried I failed. I compared myself to everyone around and found that they have much more potential than me._

 _I was a monster who could not protect his friends, who was responsible for thousands of innocent citizens getting injured daily._

 _They say the fire symbol is the strongest one but I was not strong enough to handle it. I was starting to doubt my abilities because you all were expecting me to be perfect and this mountain of perfection crushed me. Crushed me to be a person with sleepless nights, horrible nightmares, overdose of sleeping pills and a person no one loved._

 _I could not fulfill my duty as a son, a friend and as the red ranger,the leader._

 _Ji, I am sorry for all I did to hurt you ever. I could not be a great leader like my father but you know Lauren would fill the place much better than me and you won't even feel that I am gone._

 _Antonio, you will find a new friend, a friend more loyal than me,a friend who won't give up no matter what._

 _Kevin, lead the team in my absence till Lauren comes and be the same you are, You are already at your best unlike me._

 _Mike, never stop behaving like you always do...you are perfect in your way atleast you know how to have fun and are not a party-pooper like me._

 _Mia,do improve your cooking skills please...but never change your caring attitude for it provided me strength when I needed it but sadly it was not enough for me to go on..._

 _and Emily, you know you are very strong...Just like the Earth. You have the power to go on and never give up. You are the heart of the team so continue to be as bubbly and cheerful as you are. I know you respected me a lot but I wasn't worthy of it. I have loved your strength from day one and I am sorry that I could not be there when you read this or listen to this but Emily...I..._

"STOP!" came a cry. and in came Emily with nose and cheeks red and tear tracks all below her eyes.

"How could he be so mean...so selfish...how-how cou-could he do so!" she shouted startling everyone with the pitch of her voice including me.

 _She ran to my room and starting shaking my lifeless body._

"How can you do so Jay...to me...to Ji...to everyone who loved and care for you...You can't do it...you will have to come back..come back to us...we need you to lead us to guide us...we ne-eed you..I-I need you..." her voice cracked and she started crying.

"How could we not understand what he was going through."

"Kev, I totally agree. If I would get a minute with Jayden more I would tell him how great a leader he was...how he motivated me when I was down, how his decisions made me proud of him, how he was so wrong to think all of this about himself"

"Oh..Mike...mi amigo...I would tell that idiot how I have longed for his friendship for years. How I found heaven the day I met him . I couldn't trust anyone more than him. He was the one always with me. The purest person I have ever met. The bravest fighter alive and the fearless leader he was"

 _Their words shocked me to the depth of my heart. Was I all wrong to judge myself , don't they hate me?Realization hit me...They truly cared for me and everything I thought as an act just beacuse I was their leader , was not fake but indeed true? how can I be so foolish..._

"Antonio...Jayden is gone beyond the stars where his place is...because you know he was too good to be here...far too good for this horrible world. He has a beautiful soul which is now gone forever."

"Mia, calm yourself. I was his father figure and even I couldn't understand my "son's problems", so don't blame yourself,I am the one to be blamed..."

 _They are blaming themselves for what stupid act I did. How wrong was I ?_

"Stop it everyone! Jayden hasn't gone anywhere...look he's here on his bed sleeping peacefully. He will wake up, you know in the evening for the practice( _sobs_ )...he will show me his new moves and then we will battle another niglock in a few days( _sighs_ )...and then accidentally, maybe I will throw my earth slicer at him( _laughs_ )...and he will say "You did great Emily! You are really strong!"( _smiles_ )...you know he will wake up...I will make him his favorite dish...he will eat it( _shouts_ )... he will have to...( _tries running but is caught by Mia_ )"

"Emily stop! Face it...He is gone. He isn't going to come back...face it!" she tries to make Emily stable and both cry.

"We shall prepare for the funeral...our hero should rest in the place as beautiful as him...the heaven...Antonio get him cleaned up and dress him for his last ride" said Ji leaving the room.

 _I was shocked...again I had hurt them and all due to what idiotic thoughts I had in my mind. They were my friends..we had miles to walk together and here I stand not as man but a spirit ready to take the last walk of life...a spirit who once was a man who gave up so easily._

 _"You are not dead_ _Jayden_..." I heard a sweet voice.

 _I turned around to be greeted by the Grand Shougun himself, in spirit form._

 _"The Grand Shogun...I am dead...I killed myself..."_

 _"No Son...this was what could have happened if you would have continued with the thoughts presently in your mind...but don't let them overpower you. You are strong, never doubt your abilities and continue to be the strong hearted person you are...I just showed you what self doubt can do and how it can affect the others around you...don't do anything foolish...you father is proud of you."_

 _"bu-but I am dead"_

 _"No son...open your eyes and see for yourself...may the power protect you!"_

I opened my eyes and realized that I had fallen asleep on my desk practicing symbol power. I touched myself to realize that I was alive. The Grand Shogun showed me what life is...

I proceeded outside and saw my friends sitting on the couch watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

"Come on Jayden it's a good scene...hurry!" Emily said as she winked at me.

"Yeah coming..." I said smiling and sitting next to my family.

I realized how important life is, how blessed I am to have such great friends...How wrong was I to doubt myself. I would lead them all and never let myself or them down. We will defeat the nighlock and everyone will live happily forever.

 **The End.**

* * *

 _ **So this was my first oneshot...yeah Jayden didn't actually commit suicide here. All was The Grand Shogun's plan to make him realize the consequences of our foolish decisions sometimes...**_

 _ **I hope you all like it...Please do review and tell me what do you think about this story. You can even PM me if you are too shy to review...any improvements or suggestions are highly appreciated.**_

 ** _See you soon!_**


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